It’s been a long time since I have asked this, but how are you? How are you feeling? I’ve noticed that over the last two weeks you have been a lot more tired. Have you been enjoying it like I have?
There are so many things I wish I could ask you, Body. I wish you can answer me the riddles that constantly float about in my brain about you.
We’ve been through a lot together. We have lots of battle wounds, and moles, patches of skin which are pigment free (and kinda freaky, which I love), as well as lots of hair and blemished.
In the last few years, body, I have neglected you shamelessly. I’ve been asking myself why I have abused you so much, and why I hate you to the extreme that I do.
Yes, I do think that a few of our issues can be placed on the school-yard bullies we encountered. But I also wonder if my misuse of you has been because I feel like you let me down in a lot of ways. I have a disease that I can’t be rid of – and controls much of my waking thoughts – and for that I feel I hate you.
It feels like anything I do to get you back into the condition that you never should have left fails miserably. But I am trying again, Body. I am trying very hard. There are so many things I wish I could change about you, but I know that between you and my Mind, I have to regain some of the control that I relinquished.
It feels like you and I are in a constant battle. That you don’t want to give back what I have given you. It makes me wonder, Body, what is going through you that you are cleaving to.
I am going to change as much as I can, Body. And I am going to learn to manage that which you have given me that I had no choice about.
I have decided that I am going to start loving you again; I am going to find something to appreciate about you every day. And once that happens, I might be able to give you the hug that you deserve.
Lots Of Love,
Everyone has something about themselves that they wish they could change. It could be that their nose is too squished, their belly is too big, their feet are too smelly.
I had a weigh in today and while it wasn’t disastrous, it was still devastating to me. It knocked me for six all day, But I know that I have to regain control – I need to stop seeking comfort from the bikkie tin or the Coffee Milks.
For me, the main things that I wish I could change are my bulges, my boob size (yes, I am President of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee), and the way that my ears stick out.
I need to start looking for the things I like about my body, like my nose, my lips, my eyes and my hair.
Yes, I have been on a weight loss mission, but until I appreciate what it is about me that I like, I cannot let go of the things that I don’t. I am notorious for only finding the things about myself that I don’t like, and completely ignoring the things about me which are good. And the only things I am looking at are on the outside. I tend to forget about the things that matter, like how I will be there for any friends that need me, and how loyal I am to my family. I ignore the fact that I am generally a confident and outgoing person, who has the ability to tell you to go to Hell and leave you in anticipation for the trip.
I am trying to let myself see the things in me which are valuable. It’s hard. It’s so very, very hard…
Are there things about yourself which you don’t like?
What would you change if you could?
Don’t forget to let me know via the comments, 🙂