In the 4.5 years I’ve been working exclusively nights I didn’t realise I was neglecting someone very important: myself.
Let me take you back to when I started working nights at Wodonga…
My day started at 1 or 2pm. This was when I woke up. I would get up, wake up and by 3.30 be on my way to work in Wodonga – 18 kilometres away. There I would work from 4pm till about 11-1130pm. I would then drive back home and be home between 11.30 and 12am Midnight, depending on what time I finished and if I had to do things at our sister store. I would then have a five minute shower, make myself some packet pasta to eat for dinner, be in bed by 1 – 1.30am, but would either FB, Farmville, Chat or Surf the net, or watch TV till 4 – 4.30am. Somewhere around that time I would fall asleep. Rinse, Repeat.
I would wash my hair once a week, and extend my shower time by an extra 5 mins or so. Then it would be straight back into my routine. My legs getting shaved was every three weeks or so, and I didn’t care if they were shaggy whilst I wore shorts at work. My time just didnt allow for 15 minutes to shave my legs, and at night I was generally so far over the day that I just didn’t have the energy. I figured that I had other things to worry about, hair on my legs weren’t really high on my importance level.
I continued this pattern for about the full three years. I neglected my hair, it was so ratty but, again, I didn’t care; it was always up in a bun and under a hat so it wasn’t like anyone else could see it anyways. It was just another thing that wasn’t high on my importance list.
Back to the present day…
I am now not working 5 days a week, and I actually have a blessed thing called time.
Then for my birthday in March, my aunt gave me a bag filled with bath smelly stuffs, like moisturizers, shower gels, a perfume, etc. I honestly first thought “Great, more stuff I wont use!”. They smelled pretty, yes. And I thought the smell was beautiful… But I had never used the stuff before, how would I begin? When would I begin?
The pretty lotions dutifully went on my shower shelf and I would look at them every now and then.
Then, about two weeks ago I decided “Eff it, I’m going to have one of those long, luxurious showers and actually shave my freakin legs!!!“
Dan was at work so I was home alone, just relaxing… and it was honestly the best shower I had ever had, just relaxed and took my time… I was in there for 8 songs on my iPod. It was great! I washed my hair, and even conditioned it twice (!), shaved my legs, used a new body wash with a lovely loofah and the moisturised and plucked my eyebrows when i got out. It felt like I had gotten a mini-pamper session!
I felt invigorated, relaxed, and very feminine, which is rare for me!
I thought, “This might be nice for a weekly thing or something”, as kind of like a treat. But before I knew it, I had done it about three times… but had managed to whittle the time down from 8 songs to 3, but still wasn’t skimping on my routine. I was shaving my legs every second night now, and it did a lot to help me feel good. I felt… nice.
My hair was being washed every day so I could straighten it every day, and I love straightened hair… It makes me feel chic.
I have now been doing it every night for about a week. I love it, my skin is softer, my hair is shinier, and I am a wee bit happier for it.
I now take an hour out for me every night – 40 minutes on my WiiFIT, followed by twenty minutes in the bathroom where I shower, do my regime (wow! I do actually have a regime now!) and brush my teeth.
I hadn’t realised till tonight just how much I had missed taking that time out for me, how much I was neglecting myself. I had somehow lost myself in the previous three years… and it feels wonderful to know I am slowly finding myself again.
Moral of this long winded blog? Take some time for yourself… even five minutes to just rub some moisturizer on. The world won’t collapse if you take some time for you, and allow yourself those few minutes to regroup each day.
I wish I had realised this so long ago, I wonder if my mental state would have been any better in the last three years? Coz I can honestly see the difference now…
sweet smelling dreams, readers. xo