OK so here is the third piece – I’m sorry for making you wait!
So where was I? Oh, yes, My fantastic holiday!
So Dan and I had been saving for a holiday that encompassed QLD then a cruise to Fiji. Excited was an understatement. I had a great outlook, a better body and was a lot better within myself. But this is where I came undone… in a big way.
My grandmother is a faboo cook and my Nonno makes a mean carbonara… to say I was in Heaven is not much of an understatement. Yummy meal after yummy meal all cooked by my Nanni is something that no sane person will ever turn down!
Being in QLD with some of my nearest and dearest left me relaxed, calm… and not watching what I put on my plate….
Once Daniel and I hit Caloundra, I knew I was lost. But I tricked myself into thinking that I was on holidays, and about to go over seas at that, so I deserved a break.
I would get back on the rails when I got home. Right?
I didn’t get worried about it all until the “sail-away party” on the cruise.
The Yankee voice of our cruise director had me thinking…
“Hellooooo Cruisers! Welcome to our Food Glorious Food cruise ship! I am your director, Sandy, and You are in for the holiday of your life…”
And he wasn’t lying.
Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner and the associated Teas were all fully catered with delectable delights that you always found room for.
This is not with all the tasty and intriguing Cocktails that you could order poolside!
I discovered my will power had definitely turned into “Please Sir, Can I have some more” power.
Seafood, desserts, roasts, pastas, you name it, they had it!
Everything that I conscientiously avoided was right in front of me. My calorie counter was not.
When the cruise ended I came home with the wrong mentality… “I have screwed up 9 days of this month, I may as well wait till October to start again.”
Then October came. And November. Then it was Christmas – so there is no point over Christmas, is there? Although, I did try for weeks but would do well for a week and then would fail again. January came and I cracked the shits with myself. Together with my best friend, Tamika, we developed a group for weightloss.
On the start date I was motivated, enthusiastic and ready to roll. I had a group of great women who were doing it with me and I felt like I was going to succeed.
I did well for the first few weeks. I was working out daily, eating right, and was back socialising and being human again. GO ME!
I weighed in and was devastated – hitting back up to 127kg I was lost again. But I knew with my girls beside me I would be fine. With Jodie, Holly and my KuppyKake Tamika, I was in like Flyyn, and dropped a massive 3.3kg in the first week. Total I lost around 6kg – and then I was diagnosed with a skin cancer on my nose which hit me like a tonne of bricks.
I turned straight to the cold milos, pies, dim sims and fried food. But I then let myself down the most – I withdrew from the group. My depression had hit, I was not coping and I had to let something go. Looking back, I wish I hadn’t chosen the group, but at the time it seemed like the right thing.
So this brings me up to now. I have already signed on for the next round of our Losers, I have stocked my fridge with healthies and my freezer has meat instead of pies.
I have set my self a real goal, not one that I am going to hate myself for when I don’t reach it. I have set up tools that help me, instead of ones that are basically self-sabotage.
Having had a mini-break to QLD last week I have come home vitalised, motivated and ready to take on the world.
I know what I have to avoid, and I also know that I cannot trust myself to not calorie count when it really is my most helpful tool.
I am hoping to still have my wonderful girls around to help me and I know that I cannot fail this time. I have too much riding on my weight, ! can’t achieve what I want to if I don’t make myself succeed.
Shouting my issues to the world is the starting step to me. You now have the Lumps’N’Bumps of the problem!
What are your tips and tricks for weightloss?
Do you have a story to share?