Ramblings of a Ringless Wife

Ringless Wife, Messy House, Cluttered Brain. All in a standard day.

March 24: What 2012 has taught me.

on March 24, 2012

Tonight, while searching the blogosphere for inspiration, I came across findingravity and found an Idea that seemed perfect to me.
I have used her blog as inspiration and knowing how important it is to pass on credit where it needs to be, please pop over check her out.

Friends are the ones who catch you when you fall.

This year I have learnt what it means to have friends that will always be there to haul your drunken arse off the floor, who will answer your midnight text that says “I’m losing my shit, I don’t know what to do”, and who will rock up on your doorstep with a Coffee Milk, a Hug, and some carefully chosen words which basically tell me to snap out of my funk and realise that life is crap right now, but it will one day be better.

Having my circle of friends (which has expanded this year) means that I now have a circle of four people who have constantly got my whiny-assed back, and know that sometimes, I need to cry just as much as I need someone to bitch slap some sense into me. They have shown me that just because you have a friend or two, it doesn’t mean you have mates.

They have encouraged me to do what I have to do in order to better Daniel and I’s lives, they have shown me what I have the strength to achieve; And above all else, they have shown me that I have four people in this wild and nasty world who believe in me and what I can accomplish. To these four people, I hope you know who you are. Between Knee Reco’s, KuppyKakes, Pearl Necklaces and Ferrets, I know my world is protected and I am safe with you four. Thank you.

A mosquito is miniscule, but it’s noise can keep you awake.

2012 Has been the year where I have had to grow some balls and realise that I may only be one person, but I have a foghorn of a voice and a set of very loud lungs. When asked recently if I knew that one person taking on a corporation was nearly impossible, I responded with “And a mosquito is only one small thing, yet it can keep a room awake for a night” I realised that I was right.

I can choose, right this very second, to take one of two choices that will define me for the rest of my life. I can be a door mat, and accept the treatment which I know I didn’t deserve; or I can be the Karma Bus, cruising along to VengaBoys, standing up for rights that every worker deserves. I choose the latter.

This year has seen me have to stand up and face up to the brutal world of business ethics (or lack thereof) and fight for justice in a universe where the dollars talk, the abusers walk, and the abused stumble and fall. As such, while I fight with a mental issue that is some days crippling, I know I have the strength to fight harder and meaner. I may not make a difference in what was done to me – but at least I know my baby sisters will have the knowledge that no person can ever make your life hell without retribution.

With an attitude like mine, some people find me intimidating.

This year has seen my attitude grow to a level somewhere along the same lines as Godzilla’s – it’s dinoriffic and I’m proud of it. I no longer allow people to walk all over me and treat me like I am shit on their shoe. You don’t like me? That’s fine. You think I’m a bitch? Well done on reaching a conclusion that was realised many years ago.  You think I miss you? Pfft!

The attitude is somewhat of a self-defense mechanism, yes. But when I had the choice to grovel for something that I still don’t know of, or standing tall like my Momma taught me, I finally chose to stand. I have gone from being the person who bends over backwards to help someone, even when it means I am put out, to someone who will walk on by and think “Fu*k Ya!”

I like it. I like being beholden to no one, and this year has shown me that I can be self-sufficient, I can be OK without others, and I can live a life without them. It has shown me that it’s OK to rock the boat, it’s OK to stand up for yourself like you were taught, and above all else, It’s OK to be ME!

If the world didn’t suck we would all fall off.

Finally, I have learnt and accepted that sometimes this world we live in just plain old sucks nuts. The world is not fair, it is not right, and all I can do is accept what I can accept, change what I can change, and be the best Kloi-Jayd I can be.

The world has to suck for every one – other wise, how would we appreciate and value the days that are amazing? How would we have something to compare if there were no bad days or good days? Would we even appreciate those days where we feel grateful to be alive if we didn’t have days that made us want to crawl into a hole and die?

I have come to acknowledge that it is OK for me to have a bad day. It’s OK for me to have a day where I can’t get out of my pyjamas through this depressed-induced fog that clouds my mind sometimes. As long as I can do it one day, and know that the sucky time I am in right now is not always going to be there. One day, my life will be as perfect as it can be. Until then, I just have to ride this roller coaster that sometimes makes me want a refund, and wait for the day when the ride stops and can go no further.

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3 responses to “March 24: What 2012 has taught me.

  1. fighterfemme says:

    you go girl ❤ ya too

  2. dad says:

    drinking leads to depression because alcohol is a depressive substance so dont do alcohol, yes you forgot to mention your biological sperm doner who would also lift you of the bloody floor AGAIN .

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