Ramblings of a Ringless Wife

Ringless Wife, Messy House, Cluttered Brain. All in a standard day.

May 12: Had a bowl of Bitch Flakes for breakfast, did we?

on May 12, 2012

Yeah, I know I have covered this topic before, but it’s seriously annoying me once again.

Before I get too far, let me just scream… IF YOU’RE GOING TO BE A BITCH AT LEAST BE GOOD AT IT!

Phew. I feel better now.

I must have seriously gotten a signal on me that says “Come and be a bitch, I like it!”  It seems all I am attracting lately are women on their periods with nothing better to do that to snap my head off. My civil health bar is at an all time low. If it’s not people on the phone, it’s people who serve me; it’s people who bump into me, knocking all my stuff to the ground and snapping at me to watch where the eff I am going; It’s people having a dig because I got in line before them.

I understand everyone has bad days. Oh boy, do I understand. And I also understand that sometimes, it does spill over to unwilling recipients. It seems that today I have been that recipient for a million and twenty nine thousand people… ok, maybe that’s an exaggeration but you get my drift.

I feel like handing these women a book that’s titled “How To Contain Your Inner Bitch-Zilla” – yes, I know, I would need to read it too, but that’s not the point of my rant tonight.

When did common courtesy leave the women of today, and a feeling of bringing others down invade us? Or is it an innate switch that comes with being born with a bajingo? I personally think it may be a bit of both.

Is there some sort of vaccine that I can sign people up for? Because I will be all over that shit. Like, NOW. I will pay for it, ladies, so line up over by the BitchFlakes aisle, thankyouverymuch.

As I said above, I know people have days where they cannot help but be a bitch. Your car’s died, people have been annoying, you’re running short of time, yadda yadda yadda. But don’t you think that by making someone your bitch-outlet, you may be passing that on to a further ten people? I know that when someone is a bitch to me unnecessarily, I tend to pass it on because I then am put in a mood. It’s an on going epidemic!

BREAKING NEWS! VIRUS STRAIN BITCH 101 IS MAKING THE ROUNDS! NO VACCINE AS YET BUT KUPPYKAKES HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO REDUCE SYMPTOMS!

Before people point out to me that I have serious bouts of what I have dubbed “Bitch-Zilla Disease” please remember I am aware of this. The days where I can feel Bitchzilla rearing her fire breathing head are the days I stay at home in my mini fortress of a house and isolate my self as much as possible.

 I reckon there would be a metric-tonne f**k less homicides if there was a law instigated: Women with Bitch-Zilla Disease must stay at home and not venture unless it is an emergency.

Problem Solved, yes?

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