Ramblings of a Ringless Wife

Ringless Wife, Messy House, Cluttered Brain. All in a standard day.

June 6: Getting a Mothers day card… When you’re not even a Mother.

on June 6, 2012

I’ve sat on this post for a little while, but considering the post I just put up, I thought it would be fitting.

This Mothers Day came for me with the usual feelings: uselessness, despair, loneliness, and every other feeling that  goes along with a person who has been trying for so long.

Then I had a call from Tamika, saying my God-Babies had something for me. I got all excited, thinking I would have a new painting to stick on my fridge, and I lurve me some paintings.

When I got there, I was handed a card. I was a little non-plussed; my birthday is in march, it wasn’t Easter. I opened the red envelope and saw this:


I took the card with decorum and poise. No, I’m lying. I cried like a baby and had the whole “I’m-so-grate-fullllllll-hic” thing going on.

I hadn’t even got to the inside yet and I was feeling a million kajillion times better than I had been. But it was the inside that really got to me.


Tamika said to me, “I knew you would be feeling sad today, but I knew this would make you feel better, too.”

She couldn’t have been more right. Something so small as a card really lifted my whole day and outlook.

People tend to forget the feelings of the people who are trying to be parents, and under-estimate the effects of Mothers and Fathers day. The days that, yes, are to celebrate the parents of the world can be devastating to those that are trying. Now, before people get their knickers in a knot, I am not saying to abolish the celebrations at all, in any way, shape, or form.

These days are hard on a million different people for a myriad of reasons: They may have lost their parent or grandparent, or they may have lost their child. It’s people like this that tend to get forgotten in the midst of the gift giving.

If I’m being totally honest, it’s not even something I had thought of until this year when it hit me harder than normal, for some reason. It makes me wonder how many people I have unintentionally hurt when I discuss the plans I have with my Mums and Dads for their respective days.

So, today I was inspired. I was reading Rants From Mommyland’s Mother Pucker responses and it really made me think of things that I could do around the local refuges and shelters here. I like the idea of making someones day a whole letter better than what it would be. Some people can’t afford to get presents, particularly if they’re in the refuge and have young kids or other extenuating circumstances.

Basically, the Mother Pucker program was a bunch of people getting together and making little gift bags for disadvantaged mums so that they got a gift they wouldn’t have other wise gotten. I’m excited to try and implement something like this for Fathers Day. I know there are a few mens refuges around this area. This way, I can minimize my feelings of inadequacy on these days, and make someone elses day a little better.

What do you think?

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