This morning, I had a rare, but immediately seized upon, chance to lecture my mother. I didn’t let this pass me and grabbed it by the balls.
My mum still lives in Myrtleford, which, as people who live there or have lived there know, has kangaroos, wallabies and wombats popping out of nowhere in the middle of the night as you’re driving along.
There is one road in particular, call the Snow Road (colloquially), that is well known for animals and cars colliding. Late at night, you only ever do the speed limit, if not less than it. Why? Because it’s friggin unsafe to drive irresponsibly on a road which has seen hundred of car accidents.
So, why did I get the chance to lecture Mum? Because the damn tool was booked last night, doing 117 KM/h in a 100KM/h zone. For my American readers, that equates to roughly 73 miles in a 60mile zone.
Now, I won’t lie to you. I have received speeding fines (and mine was significantly higher, since I was doing 129 in a 110 zone, on a highway) but I have never – NEVER – been so silly as to speed along a country road in the dead of night, especially one where there are animals that like to meet your car.
Before you start doing your “hypocrite” dance, I have accepted that I have made some dumb choices when it comes to driving. That may be why my Nanna Middo told me that I should drive at 30MilesPH (yes, she said miles) – but to drive so silly on a road and in conditions that are taught to us from a young age? Never done that shiz.
I get frustrated when people speed excessively, because I always wonder how fast their guardian angels can fly. Mine can fly at about 110km on a highway, and 100km on a rural road. It seems, somehow, that Mum’s had a can of RedBull last night and was keeping pace with her 117km.
Speeding drivers are one of the most dangerous things on the road – and realistically, may only save you a minute or two in getting to your destination. Why risk it?
On the occasions when I have been booked for speeding I have taken it on the chin, because if I wasn’t paying attention to my speedo then it’s my fault. And since I got my big fine for the highway booking, I haven’t had another one since. I learnt my lesson well. I don’t think Mum has – because she has gotten fines for doing a similar thing on the way home from Albury too. (Oh, yeah, I dobbed you in!)
Please, people, remember: Just because you feel invincible because you know the road, it doesn’t mean you are.
Doreen Jamjar vanGherkineater:
If you do this again, I WILL take your keys, and I WILL take you to see Mr. Dunell, and I WILL end this blog now before I get myself in trouble.