When I had my 18th and 21st, I was pretty stingy. I had a dinner for my 18th, in lieu of a party, and a dinner AND a party for my 21st. My 21st dinner was more for family on the actual day (I turned 21 on the Monday, my party was the following weekend).
At both of the dinners, I asked specifically for no gifts, just pay for your own meals and drinks. Of course, at my 21st party (where there were no tables or allocated seating, etc) My family and I had supplied the finger foods.
This brings me to ask: is being asked to pay for your own meal too much when you’re invited to a party?
Personally, I am all for “pay for your own meal” instead of presents. Why? Let me dot point it for you. I love me some dot points.
- It removes the responsibility of getting a present. This way, you don’t have to worry if the receiver will like it or not.
- It helps out the host
- You may get a pick in what you eat (so no eating something that may be disgusting to you)
- You don’t have to worry about scoffing something prior to the party if it is over a meal time
- You don’t have to do dishes
- You get to combine a night of celebrating with a meal
I have to admit, that Dan and I have disagreed on this one. I think, when we eventually get married, it is perfectly acceptable to ask people to pay for their own meals at the reception. After all, Dan and I have been living together for nearly seven years, we have everything that is a normal wedding present, and it cheapens the cost for us.
Dan, however, thinks it is wrong and seems a bit off to have invited someone to a wedding and not have fed them. However, this being said, we have been to weddings where we have paid for our meals in lieu of presents and he admitted that it wasn’t as bad an idea as he had originally thought.
Some people, though, disagree. They believe that if you are invited to a shindig (I love that word!) that you should not have to pay for that privilege and it falls upon the hosts head. Some dot points I have noticed against the thought are:
- You may have to eat something you dislike
- You have been invited somewhere, and therefore shouldn’t be expected to pay
- The meal cost may be significantly more than what is a reasonable amount for a present
- A present is something to be looked on and remembered from, where a meal won’t be
- If you have kids, you may have to pay more money than what the child will eat – eg, you pay for a full meal and your child eats only the chips
- Other places have better meals at better prices.
I think that the paying of your own meal is not that big of a deal. There are plenty of reasons for it, but I will acknowledge that there are plenty against it.
What are your thoughts? Do you think it is acceptable or do you think that if you invite someone, you should pay?
Leave your answer in the comment box and let’s get a discussion flowing 🙂